9 Minutes and 17 Seconds...Telemarketer Challenge

James Burke

Being a grandpa is more fun than working
Ok, so I was just finishing up on a telephone call when my call waiting beeped in and notified me of another call. Fully expecting a colleague on the other end of the line, I was a bit miffed to discover it was a telemarketer hawking a medical alert pendent. So...

Being totally bored, and game for a little telephone humor I went on to say that I was interested in her medical alert system, and that I was under the impression that it came with a free colonoscopy.

With every new pitch and every new angle she tried, I wove the urgent request for a colonoscopy into our conversation...holding back muffled laughter as her long pauses made me think I was on the phone with artificial intelligence.

Well, she was just as real as the sari she was wearing, and I thought I could almost smell a faint whiff of Nag Champa drift through the receiver every once in a while.

I was able to hold her on the line for a full 9 minutes and 17 seconds...which is a record for me so far. If I could attach the recorded .wav file, I would.

So there's the telemarketer challenge...

Do the something similar, describe your call and give us your "hang time". It surely beats watching Netflix.



scam1.jpg scam2.jpg scam3.jpg The ones on the phone usually don't last long for me. I prefer the email exchanges, or occasionally, the Facebook troll. I love those. I screen-shotted one conversation, and I'll share it here... hopefully it'll be large enough to read.
If I could attach the recorded .wav file, I would.

Try zipping it up and then posting the zip file. It may hit size limits, especially if the wav file is raw pcm data.

I actually have noticed a decrease in telemarketer on my end. Thankfully. I don't have much time for them even on a good day.


Very Active Signmaker
I was a telemarketer for Citi bank during the evening while I was working at a sign shop during the day. I used to love when people would B/S with us and have a conversation.

Most calls would be answering machine or hangup. 1 of out 20 would pick up and realize who we were and hang up. Of the 200-400 calls I'd make in a night, I'd pitch maybe 20-30 people and get about 10 sales. If you got an average of 2 sales an hour you were considered a heavy hitter and made big bonuses. (Making way more then my day job at the sign shop)

That program got shut down after I left. It was a complete scam and we were trained to lie to people to trick them into adding insurance, and they paid good $$ for us to do it. I read that Citi got sued over it and they had to settle for big $$, but probably no where near what they made off of us. I was 19 or 20 when I worked there and lacked a moral compass, so don't judge me on it.
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New Member
I keep a printed copy of the US Constitution beside my desk just for telemarketers. I start reading it and talking over them as fast as I can. So far I have made it all the way to Article 2 before being hung up on.
Most only get a few sentences in before they give up.