Christmas tale

[kanini]

I remember I saw someone posting a Christmas tale based on "Twas the night before Christmas" about a sign shop, he struggled with a Roland or something in those lines and it was hilarious, can't find it anymore so if anybody has it please post to share that Holiday spirit (or if you have the inspiration to make a new one we could have a story thread=)
Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays!

 

[Stacey K]

I remember something like that! That was a few years back...

 

[White Haus]

This one.....? https://www.signs101.com/threads/twas-the-night-before-christmas.12512/#post-112152

 

[kanini]

Something like that, great reading!

 

[Proofread People]

Something like that, great reading!

time to create a new one

 

[Gino]

There once was a man from nantucket,
He had a.............................

I guess this is the wrong place for that one.

 

[JBurton]

There once was a man from nantucket,
He had a.............................

He had a 700w and said f*ck it
he emptied the white, and pulled out the head
and dropped it all in a bucket

It works alright I guess.

 

[Humble PM]

T'was once a client who said son
This job'll be a fabulous one
Bells and whistles all round
No permits to be found
And dollars, all my dollars are gone

 

[Gino]

He had a 700w and said f*ck it
he emptied the white, and pulled out the head
and dropped it all in a bucket

It works alright I guess.

You're gonna get a lump of coal and you don't even use it down there.

 

[Proofread People]

He had a 700w and said f*ck it
he emptied the white, and pulled out the head
and dropped it all in a bucket

It works alright I guess.

There once was a sign maker from Nantucket
who needed a truck with a bucket,
He tied it with rope which then the sign broke
So he decided to chuck it!

 

[Texas_Signmaker]

You wanna new one? Here's one.

T'was the night before Christmas
and all though the shop,
Burton was passed out
behind the old mop.
Boudica was designing
a banner with glee,
while notareal was outside,
taking a pee.
Tex was on his phone
texting gnubler all night,
she had a few drinks
i think it was busch lite.
Stacy went home
to be with her kids,
while gac05 worked on some bids.
Johnny was placing bets
on who's horse would win next,
binki said he's going to retire
after cashing the last check.
Victor's shooting vodka
after his new printer broke
and robert is listening
i think he's had a stroke.
I thought gac5
was somewhere near fiji
santa is coming
to give us all a new squeegee

 

[Boudica]

You wanna new one? Here's one.

T'was the night before Christmas
and all though the shop,
Burton was passed out
behind the old mop.
Boudica was designing
a banner with glee,
while notareal was outside,
taking a pee.
Tex was on his phone
texting gnubler all night,
she had a few drinks
i think it was busch lite.
Stacy went home
to be with her kids,
while Gino worked on some bids.
Johnny was placing bets
on who's horse would win next,
binki said he's going to retire
after cashing the last check.
Victor's shooting vodka
after his new printer broke
and robert is listening
i think he's had a stroke.
I thought gac5
was somewhere near fiji
santa is coming
to give us all a new squeegee

FTFY

 

[rcali]

Twas the week before Christmas and all through the shop
Not a project was moving, all printers had stopped

The tactile printer, presumably dead,
had just been gifted a brand new print head

The Oce Flatbed stood at a standstill
No one dared load a substrate without approved orders to fill

The roll to roll printers flashed red and green
no wall paper spooled, a holiday dream

With no files to rip and color matching stuck
All sign makers wished each other a New Year's good luck

 

[kanini]

'Twas the rush before Christmas, in the printshop's large hall,
Printers were whirring for that project at the mall.

With CMYK and Pantones, the colors so bright,
everyone hopes the prints would come out just right.
The substrates were loaded, both high end and trash,
But then out of nowhere - a terrible head crash!

The large format printer stopped with a cough,
A hiccup, a glitch, the operator yelling, "Enough!"
With despair in the air and a deadline so near,
the large format printer's display was met with great fear

The most skillfull technician could not be in sight,
but then in the dark there was a small light -
the service manual in the corner shined bright
Calibrations and cleanings, adjustments and sweat
the operators shirt getting all wet

Suppliers print techs gone home for the day
oh how will we now get our Christmas pay?

The banners were held, mid-print, in jam
phone angrily buzzing – “they will be ready soon ma’am!

As the large format printer still gave its defence
with the help of Signs101 the manual finally made sense

With a hum and a click, it resumed its course,
Printing the rush order with renewed force.
The prints were delivered, a triumph indeed,
the printer quirks conquered, a holiday deed.

"Happy Christmas to all, and to printers that persist,
In the printshop, where challenges exist!"

Had to give this a go, sorry if there's something that doesn't sound right, English is not my mother tongue...

 

[Stacey K]

You wanna new one? Here's one.

T'was the night before Christmas
and all though the shop,
Burton was passed out
behind the old mop.
Boudica was designing
a banner with glee,
while notareal was outside,
taking a pee.
Tex was on his phone
texting gnubler all night,
she had a few drinks
i think it was busch lite.
Stacy went home
to be with her kids,
while gac05 worked on some bids.
Johnny was placing bets
on who's horse would win next,
binki said he's going to retire
after cashing the last check.
Victor's shooting vodka
after his new printer broke
and robert is listening
i think he's had a stroke.
I thought gac5
was somewhere near fiji
santa is coming
to give us all a new squeegee

That is freaking hilarious!!!!

 

[Johnny Best]

"And pictures of THC gummies danced in their heads".

 

[Gino]

Yeah, but what was in the 'stump of his pipe' ??

 

[gnubler]

and robert is listening
i think he's had a stroke.
I thought gac5
was somewhere near fiji
santa is coming
to give us all a new squeegee

Classic! The last 6 lines made this a winner.

Busch lite? Come on, man...
That's worse than bum wine.

 

[JBurton]

That's worse than bum wine.

MD 2020 has entered the chat...

 

[MNT_Printhead]

Classic! The last 6 lines made this a winner.

Busch lite? Come on, man...
That's worse than bum wine.

So, you like the 211 Steel Reserve?