Ah yes! The Seattle Event! We’re going to break a world record or two or three this Sunday… but there are some strict requirements.You should arrive Sunday, August 3rd, between 12:00 and 12:30 PST (no later!), at the Miller Community Center – 330 19th Ave E, Seattle, WA 98112. I’m told there’s not a cornucopia of parking, SO PLEASE CARPOOL OR TAKE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION if you can. The Blue Angels will also be flying around, likely wreaking havoc with traffic on freeways that day, so plan accordingly.
ARRIVE BETWEEN 12:00 and 12:30PM. IF YOU’RE NOT THERE AND “CHECKED IN” BY 1PM YOU WON’T BE ALLOWED IN! After 1PM, Misha and the gang will have to close the doors for purposes of breaking Guinness Records and you’ll not be allowed entry no matter your circumstance.
Do you have to be registered for GISHWHES to come? No. However…
YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO ENTER THE EVENT UNLESS YOU ADHERE TO ALL OF THE FOLLOWING:
1. YOU LOOK LIKE A FRENCH MAID (And why wouldn’t you? It’s Sunday!): You must be wearing a short black dress which, per Guinness, must be above the knee and not be strapless or you won’t be allowed to enter! You must also have a white or black maid’s headdress. THIS COSTUME APPLIES TO MEN AS WELL! If modesty is your style, Guinness will permit you to wear black tights or fishnet stockings. The volunteers will have plenty of aprons on hand (for your maid costume), but they “made” (ha ha) them sustainably and I’m told they’re not the sexiest. So if you want to bring sexy back to Seattle, bring your own white lace-looking apron (homemade or otherwise). To beat a dead horse: the volunteers will only have aprons – no dresses or headdresses – so you must bring those. If you’re not wearing them, you won’t be let in.
2. YOU HAVE A “STILL LIFE” HAT WITH YOU. What is this? Picture a Still Life painting. Now picture that set-up arranged on any type of hat. That’s what you need to have on your noggin. Get artistic with it. GISHWHES it! We will be announcing a winner.
3. YOU ARE COMFORTABLE HOLDING HANDS WITH ANOTHER GISHER. You will all be holding hands for one of the records, so if cooties heebie your jeebie, this event probably isn’t your cup-o-tea. Some of you may be squirming at the thought of this – you can do it.
4. YOU HAVE A WHITE NOTE CARD OR PIECE OF PAPER (4X6). This must contain your LEGIBLE (1) first and last name, and (2) email address (Guinness needs this – they won’t be using it for anything other than counting).
5. YOU HAVE A WHITE PIECE OF PAPER (8X11ish). This must have your Team Name (or the one you’re representing) written on it.
6. YOU MUST BE OKAY BEING FILMED. Like every year, your image may go up on the GISHWHES website or on GUINNESS’s website.
YOU MUST ABIDE BY ALL SIX OF THE REQUIREMENTS ABOVE OR YOU WILL NOT BE PERMITTED ENTRY. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I know, such rules! But this is a Guinness World Record we’re talking about! Not some fly-by-night-two-bit contest. I can assure you, whether or not you all break any records Sunday, it will be an experience you will remember for a lifetime – or at least until you get that infernal Still Life contraption off your head.
A final note on… cheating. Don’t do it. A team that might have won last year did a little clever photoshopping (but not so clever as to get it past one of our photoshop experts) and we had to disqualify them from winner eligibility.
