layout critique please

[Holeshotrob]

Sorry I haven't been around for awhile. I've been training to fight and went to Europe for 2 weeks and also concentrating on my family and work. I'm hoping to get on the forum more often again.

This is my first two ideas for this company. They are an MMA promotion first and foremost, but may want to expand into all combat sports in th future. They really like the fighter image, but I'm still trying to refine it all. I'm not married to the fonts but I think it needs something to tie it all together, like a background or something. Any ideas?

 

[Salmoneye]

Where is the contrast? I am looking at it while I write this and I can't read it. Dark tones on dark tones on dark... ... I like MMA but this looks cartoon like. Comic book cover, role playing plastic sword swinging dude at the park... Personally I think that you might have too much image for a logo, shirt graphic maybe. Just my .02 but definitely try the squint test on this and think contrast/legibility. Just this morning I had to talk my customer out of a great looking piece of art that we did into something much plainer. We both liked looking at it but we were looking at the design and not at the logo/customer name/what they did... couldn't see the forest for the trees if you will.

 

[S'N'S]

Don't mind the second one only Legion blends into the sheild, make the shield a different colour.

 

[Jillbeans]

No contrast.
Move the guy higher up into the shield, move LEGION to the bottom and make it white with only one thick outline.
Put COMBAT SPORTS under LEGION's arch, but not in that font and in plain black.
Love....Jill

 

[ucmj22]

the attachments i posted in gray scale to highlight the lack of contrast. other than that, it doesnt look terrible, but it doesnt look original either. did you draw the shield and fighter? I think you can do better, so I'll wait for some reworks.

 

[1/2-4CR3]

I wanna see it pop, it's just not popping for me.

 

[Jillbeans]

Font for COMBAT SPORTS could be Duffle bag or Los Alamos something ballsy and condensed.

 

[Marlene]

edit your outlines as the computer just does it and doesn't have a clue how it looks. fix up the strange points and connections. on the bottom line, some of the letters filled in and some have background showing so it looks really weird. shadowing on guys pants makes it looks like he pee'd them...not a good look. overall with some contrast and fixes, either oculd work.

 

[Suz]

Hi Rob!

 

[sar bossier]

At a very quick glance, before I read your post, it reminded me A LOT of Assassins Creed Vid game cover ...

 

[TyrantDesigner]

First off, your combatant ... i'm assuming from the 5 non cut ready color overlaps that this is going to be printed ... as such, why is there so much detail in him and so little amount of detail in the obviously metal shield, and also, if you're going to pay that much attention to detail ... pay that attention to the text, use highlights and shadows, contrasting colors, etc, etc, etc. ... go the extra mile to make it pop.

now, the combatant ... I'm sure you wanted to have him show some sort of tension and strength, but he conveys none of that. his head is down, hands at his side barely closed fist and other than the look of him wanting to work out, smirking while he does it ... looks like the only thing you want to convey is that his pants need to be bunched up like he's sporting a full leg diaper in there.

also, if you take the time to provide a hard edge (black outline) on all your elements, but don't take that time on the rivets ... they look out of place.

 

[Salmoneye]

I think it's clip art isn't it?

 

[Holeshotrob]

Yep, the fighter is clip art, I just threw him in there to use for placement as this is the fighter image that the client likes. I'm actually working on a different version of a fighter for them but it isn't ready yet. The shield is a quick piece that I drew for a cartoony logo sometime ago.
I'm just trying to get a good initial layout for the final logo. Sorry, I should have stated all that in the beginning. Thanks for all the help. I'll get back to it and post again when I have it further along!

HI SUZ! Lol