Being an employer is not for the faint of heart. Being a self employed one-man-show was like paradise compared to being a disgruntled employee... so for many years I worked harder than ever, but I knew in every day that I had found my calling & I was working on exactly what I wanted to be doing.
Soon, my ambition turned to a belief that not just being "in business", but being a "business man" was my calling, & employing others to help do the work that had given me so much satisfaction was a logical evolution of my journey.
Today I am not so sure. Yesterday I had to let my right hand man go, in a sudden unfortunate event, that may well have been his own subconscious lapse of judgement, designed to facilitate a transition we may both prosper from.
I endured some difficult emotional struggles over the course of nearly 3 years of work together. There were signs that all was not well in Camelot, and on the worst days of disharmony, I would seek guidance & was often advised that I might not have the right team player & shouldn't have to endure so much strain at my own business.
All I saw was that the arrogance & marginal levels of disrespect at times were traits so similar to my own character flaws, & so likely to be a typical by-product of most highly intelligent, confident & capable self-starter types... that I just figured if I wanted talent, I had to accept ego.
The mind blowing realization yesterday was that after 12 hours of mental anguish on Saturday, my personnel restructuring was completed in an hour, and throughout the next 8 hours of responding to all my own calls, emails and walk-in traffic, setting my own prices, scheduling commitments, and running my own machines...
...I was amazingly & uncontrollably happy in my new surroundings of unrestricted control & dominion!
I feel like I slung a pack over my shoulder for a day hike & someone had been sneaking rocks into my pack... and the day hike turned into a hobbit-like quest of epic proportions, during which my ever increasing load was shouldered for the long haul, accepted as my rightful burden & cinched up to where I became unable to distinguish that burden from the chore of dragging my own weight over the treacherous terrain of this worst year in my business life.
So, when I slid that pack off my shoulders I thought I might shed 1/10th of my troubles with it.
Of course there will be days I am overwhelmed with work, and there will be days I miss my comrade, but those facts notwithstanding...
...I feel like I just shed 9/10ths of my burden, & the sinking ship I was ready to captain my way down to the murky depths of possible failure, is now feeling like a favorable wind has billowed my sails, freed my anchors, & brightened my horizon beyond belief!
Soon, my ambition turned to a belief that not just being "in business", but being a "business man" was my calling, & employing others to help do the work that had given me so much satisfaction was a logical evolution of my journey.
Today I am not so sure. Yesterday I had to let my right hand man go, in a sudden unfortunate event, that may well have been his own subconscious lapse of judgement, designed to facilitate a transition we may both prosper from.
I endured some difficult emotional struggles over the course of nearly 3 years of work together. There were signs that all was not well in Camelot, and on the worst days of disharmony, I would seek guidance & was often advised that I might not have the right team player & shouldn't have to endure so much strain at my own business.
All I saw was that the arrogance & marginal levels of disrespect at times were traits so similar to my own character flaws, & so likely to be a typical by-product of most highly intelligent, confident & capable self-starter types... that I just figured if I wanted talent, I had to accept ego.
The mind blowing realization yesterday was that after 12 hours of mental anguish on Saturday, my personnel restructuring was completed in an hour, and throughout the next 8 hours of responding to all my own calls, emails and walk-in traffic, setting my own prices, scheduling commitments, and running my own machines...
...I was amazingly & uncontrollably happy in my new surroundings of unrestricted control & dominion!
I feel like I slung a pack over my shoulder for a day hike & someone had been sneaking rocks into my pack... and the day hike turned into a hobbit-like quest of epic proportions, during which my ever increasing load was shouldered for the long haul, accepted as my rightful burden & cinched up to where I became unable to distinguish that burden from the chore of dragging my own weight over the treacherous terrain of this worst year in my business life.
So, when I slid that pack off my shoulders I thought I might shed 1/10th of my troubles with it.
Of course there will be days I am overwhelmed with work, and there will be days I miss my comrade, but those facts notwithstanding...
...I feel like I just shed 9/10ths of my burden, & the sinking ship I was ready to captain my way down to the murky depths of possible failure, is now feeling like a favorable wind has billowed my sails, freed my anchors, & brightened my horizon beyond belief!
