A crazy 1st for me...PR*CK

[tcorn1965]

Our (Sweet, 73 yr old Sunday school teacher) receptionist got a call from someone about the copier in her room. She does not have one in her room so she transfers call to me.
I answer "Victory Store how can I help you?"
He says "who am I speaking to?"
I say "who am I speaking to?"
Hey says "blah blah...copier supply company"
"Ok, how can I help you?"
"I am calling about the copier in your room"
"I don't have a copier in my room"
"Well then why did she send me to you?"
"She probably did not know what are trying to do, so she forwarded you to me"
"Well what am I trying to do?"
"I don't know"
"WHAT WHAT AM I TRYING TO DO?" Saying this very rudely at this point

"I suspect your trying to unsuccessfully sell something PR*CK so F*** O**"

I then hung up and walked over to Betty's office to thank her for the Jewell. While I was in there he called back, I told Betty it was probably him...She covers the mouth piece and says "It is for you but I do not think it is the same guy...this is Mr. Wilson."
I grab the phone and this guy is calling me everything but nice...lol...I move out in the hall out of Betty's ear shot...Yep it got all unprofessional at that point...lol

 

[gabagoo]

HERE HERE!!:U Rock:


I get these calls more and more. I have no idea what marketing genius thinks these attitudes in their staff will result in a sale.

 

[Gino]

I get a kick out of the people that ask you who what model number your copier or whatever is...... for their records, that they're updating everything.

I have two paths to take here.

1. I have a little scratch pad and when someone calls, I'll make up some number which is close to the one we have and give a fake name. Then jot down the fake name along with the number and when they call back in a few weeks acting so smart that they have your information, if the name and number are on my list.... I pick one of many ways to torment the callers. I either go off on them, lead them on a wild goose chase, act like a bumbling fool [that's the easy one for me] or just say they aren't here right now.

2. The other is when they ask for the number.... I'll usually in a very serious voice... spell out the letters something like F * * * * * * 1 2 3 and then I get a dial tone.

I thoroughly enjoy goofing on people that don't have a life and sit around making up lies to get business out of me. Yeah, that's the ticket..... I'll call someone and lie about everything and expect them to buy some signs from me.............. ​

 

[tcorn1965]

I get a kick out of the people that ask you who what model number your copier or whatever is...... for their records, that they're updating everything.

I have two paths to take here.

1. I have a little scratch pad and when someone calls, I'll make up some number which is close to the one we have and give a fake name. Then jot down the fake name along with the number and when they call back in a few weeks acting so smart that they have your information, if the name and number are on my list.... I pick one of many ways to torment the callers. I either go off on them, lead them on a wild goose chase, act like a bumbling fool [that's the easy one for me] or just say they aren't here right now.

2. The other is when they ask for the number.... I'll usually in a very serious voice... spell out the letters something like F * * * * * * 1 2 3 and then I get a dial tone.

I thoroughly enjoy goofing on people that don't have a life and sit around making up lies to get business out of me. Yeah, that's the ticket..... I'll call someone and lie about everything and expect them to buy some signs from me.............. ​

Gino,
Thanks for the ammo...Look out Liars

 

[TyrantDesigner]

The ones I've been getting lately have been people asking for updated information on the company for their "directory listing" ... I respond flat toned, "all requests must be submitted in writing and must have a fax number to be sent back, all requests must also be accompanied by a $300 payment for the information and requests will take 2-6 weeks for processing" ... a few are indignant by that point, some try to explain it's a free listing (at which point I tell them it's a $400 fee for that information then), and most just hang up.

Sadly the fun ones are by the people who want to sell yellow page ads to us, telling us of the exposure we will get with a 2 year contract ... I try to sell them magnetic signs that say that with a 2 year contract for 20 magnets a month ... they never go for it ... was on the phone one day for 25 minutes before they hung up (slow day) ... I like to think that it cost him 3 commissions.

 

[Joe Diaz]

I keep getting messages left on my cell saying: "We have sent you several notices in the past, this is the last time to lower your credit card rates...." The funny thing is, it's almost in a threatening tone. It's like they are scolding me for screwing up and not taking them up on their offer... that they are so bothered for having to keep sending me these notices. Of course my "punishment" for failing to act is supposed be me missing out on their "offer" and them never calling back. That was about 40 "last times" ago. Apparently they haven't gotten the hint, nor do they get the concept of "last time".

 

[TyrantDesigner]

I keep getting messages left on my cell saying: "We have sent you several notices in the past, this is the last time to lower your credit card rates...." The funny thing is, it's almost in a threatening tone. It's like they are scolding me for screwing up and not taking them up on their offer... that they are so bothered for having to keep sending me these notices. Of course my "punishment" for failing to act is supposed be me missing out on their "offer" and them never calling back. That was about 40 "last times" ago. Apparently they haven't gotten the hint, nor do they get the concept of "last time".

we get those for our credit processing ... funny thing, they always want to lower our rate, but say it's "impossible" to get the rate in writing. but it's the "last time" they will offer that low rate. I just start laughing and laughing, and laughing, and if they are still on the phone I ask them if they can make my manhood (only a much cruder term) bigger with positive energy and magnets, and start laughing again ... come to think of it ... it's been 2 months since I've had one of those calls ... maybe it's working.

 

[gabagoo]

I used to tell who ever was calling that I was very interested in what they were selling and then I would tell them the other line was ringing and I needed to answer it. I would then leave them on hold until they figured it out.

 

[James Burke]

Send 'em to Mumbles:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CQMK2rQLcA

Believe me, if you do this, it won't raise your blood pressure by even one mm...and they WON'T call back.

Also, check out Ed Bassmaster for some of his funny stuff on YouTube. By all means, check these one out for cool ideas:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S7sJpmQHCI&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL1E7E620F532F3DC7

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZZi...PL1E7E620F532F3DC7&lf=results_main&playnext=2

JB

 

[TyrantDesigner]

Send 'em to Mumbles:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CQMK2rQLcA

Believe me, if you do this, it won't raise your blood pressure by even one mm...and they WON'T call back.

Also, check out Ed Bassmaster for some of his funny stuff on YouTube. By all means, check these one out for cool ideas:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S7sJpmQHCI&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL1E7E620F532F3DC7

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZZi...PL1E7E620F532F3DC7&lf=results_main&playnext=2

JB

the one at the drive through is just a way to get spit in your food ... they can hear your engine running while you try to do the broken mic thing.

 

[Billct2]

The two I get a lot are for web site/listing which I always reply with my theory about the "Internet Conspiracy" that will be taking control of our minds if we have put any information on "The Worldwide Web".
...and for switching our electricity provider when I tell them abourt my patent pending
used kitty litter methane generator that runs the shop.

 

[AnotherSignManiac]

The two I get a lot are for web site/listing which I always reply with my theory about the "Internet Conspiracy" that will be taking control of our minds if we have put any information on "The Worldwide Web".
...and for switching our electricity provider when I tell them abourt my patent pending
used kitty litter methane generator that runs the shop.

haha love this!

 

[petepaz]

that's good stuff..haha always good to have fun at the solicitor's expense

they call here all the time saying they are updating their records so when they ask what our copier number i ask them what number they have on file and i will tell them if it's right. usually they hang up after that

 

[Gino]

Last edited by Bigdawg; Yesterday at 08:45 PM. Reason: bad gino :0

Darn it.... you even took the I N G out.


But I was spelling it out as I do over the phone. I wasn't writing it for anyone to read. You were supposed to spell it out to get the full impact...... Gosh, now you ruined it.... Oh woe is me... Ohhhh woe is me.........



Okay.... how's this.....

F U G G I N G 1 2 3​

​

 

[TyrantDesigner]

Why not just do A 5 5 H 0 L 3 for the number and be sly about it.

 

[ucmj22]

when I get a call, that is obviously someone trying to sell me something, I tell them I'll connect them to the owner, then put them on hold until they drop off. I figure if they are gonna waste my time, I'll waste some of theirs.

 

[genericname]

when I get a call, that is obviously someone trying to sell me something, I tell them I'll connect them to the owner, then put them on hold until they drop off. I figure if they are gonna waste my time, I'll waste some of theirs.

Great tactic. Most tele-sales reps are driven by commission, or at least extreme pressure to perform, so they'll usually drop a call within 60 seconds of being put on hold. Actually a bit of a relief sometimes, as it gives them a chance to catch up with everything they have to type up.

Ages ago, it was standard practice to scold potential clients on the phone. It was actually proven that the average American responded better to threats than they did to polite requests. That's since been made illegal, mind you, though only here in Canada.

 

[SignManiac]

I always make them feel horrible for calling. When they call and ask for me, the owner... I respond by saying to them, I'm very sorry, you must not have heard the news. The owner and his family were all killed in a tragic auto accident while returning home from vacation last week. It was quite sudden and unexpected. I'm just a relative of the family trying to help with the funeral arrangements and closing out business matters.

On hearing this they get all tongue tied and apologetic while I'm saying in my most distraught voice, I think it would be in the best interest for all if you would kindly remove this number from your list. They always apologize profusely and say they will comply along with giving their condolences. Sometimes I will pretend to by sobbing, that really makes them feel bad.

I've died in many other creative ways over the years too. I've told them I was killed in a skydiving accident, motorcycle crash while racing, airplane crash on a fishing trip to Alaska and ten years ago there was a guy who had the same name as mine and really did die from the anthrax poisoning that was going on at the time in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. He was in the printing business and it was all over the news, so the solicitors took that story hook, line, and sinker to

I do get so bored at times, this is probably why I get all of these ideas!

 

[btropical.com]

I usually say the person that handles our copier was in a horrible combine farming accident and is in the hospital trying to recover from a double arm amputation

 

[WeekendDirectionals]

When they call me for credit card processing I tell them I only put up highway signs for the State and they won't pay on a credit card.

When they call me on my cell phone to resubscribe to the local newspaper I tell them in my old coot voice I reired to Florida and I don't want a gawd dang NJ paper take me off the gosh darn call list! Works for a couple months.