Facing Major Surgery #17...

[Bly]

Good luck man. Sounds like you are about due for some.

 

[Colin]

Dang - I've been insanely busy this week (in the shop at 4:00 this morning) so didn't see this thread until now.

So, the surgery is next Thursday Arlo? Let's hope it all goes well; we're all pullin' for ya.

I know I can't fully appreciate what you've been going through, but I found you're comment about "checking out" a little disquietening. Just think of, and appreciate your life. Do you know what the odds are that you won the sperm lottery and were born? If anyone checks out, they give up the opportunity to smell a flower; to hear music; to listen to children playing outside; to look into the eyes of a loved one; to feel the warm touch of another human being; or pet a cat and hear it purr, or a dog and see it's tail wag with delight. There's so much beauty and magnificance in this world that the thought of giving up this brief puff of consciousness is for me, though eventually certain, unembraceable.


Keep us posted.

 

[randya]

I know I can't fully appreciate what you've been going through, but I found you're comment about "checking out" a little disquietening. Just think of, and appreciate your life. Do you know what the odds are that you won the sperm lottery and were born? If anyone checks out, they give up the opportunity to smell a flower; to hear music; to listen to children playing outside; to look into the eyes of a loved one; to feel the warm touch of another human being; or pet a cat and hear it purr, or a dog and see it's tail wag with delight. There's so much beauty and magnificance in this world that the thought of giving up this brief puff of consciousness is for me, though eventually certain, unembraceable.


Keep us posted.

What he says!

 

[Steve C.]

I know I can't fully appreciate what you've been going through, but I found you're comment about "checking out" a little disquietening. Just think of, and appreciate your life. Do you know what the odds are that you won the sperm lottery and were born? If anyone checks out, they give up the opportunity to smell a flower; to hear music; to listen to children playing outside; to look into the eyes of a loved one; to feel the warm touch of another human being; or pet a cat and hear it purr, or a dog and see it's tail wag with delight. There's so much beauty and magnificance in this world that the thought of giving up this brief puff of consciousness is for me, though eventually certain, unembraceable.

Very well said, Colin...

 

[Arlo Kalon 2.0]

Dang - I've been insanely busy this week (in the shop at 4:00 this morning) so didn't see this thread until now.

So, the surgery is next Thursday Arlo? Let's hope it all goes well; we're all pullin' for ya.

I know I can't fully appreciate what you've been going through, but I found you're comment about "checking out" a little disquietening. Just think of, and appreciate your life. Do you know what the odds are that you won the sperm lottery and were born? If anyone checks out, they give up the opportunity to smell a flower; to hear music; to listen to children playing outside; to look into the eyes of a loved one; to feel the warm touch of another human being; or pet a cat and hear it purr, or a dog and see it's tail wag with delight. There's so much beauty and magnificance in this world that the thought of giving up this brief puff of consciousness is for me, though eventually certain, unembraceable.


Keep us posted.

"Thou almost persuadest me"... (haha, tell me the circumstances of that quote for extra points).

Well put sentiments my friend. None of them , however, address the quality of life in an eating culture where you are forever forbidden from partaking. I had seven months without so much as a morsel cross my lips and it drove me to the brink of insanity. I wasn't worth living with, and my wife and daughter were relegated to hiding in a back living area to take their meals out of consideration for me. I could still smell the preparations and wanted to break everything in sight.

I have had a better than average life so far - the 16 prior surgeries excepted of course. I have lived much longer than nearly half the world is privileged to live. I've produced an incredible family of 3 very strong kids who have had extensive experience with death, including being at my sister's bedside when she passed. My father successfully committed suicide so I am intimately aware of the long term effect it has on survivors. I won't do it without telling them beforehand and enduring their emotion first. But I know you get over it.

The bottom line is the primal aspect of getting nutrition from eaten meals is not something I am able to face the rest of my life without. Having already had a taste of it, I know this for a fact. My mind is at peace with passing this way should it come to that (with a bottle of narcotics). I am hoping with every fiber of my being I do not develop more fistulas after this surgery on Thursday, but knowing my omentum (Google it) is destroyed from so many surgeries I know how likely it is I will.

 

[CES020]

The bottom line is the primal aspect of getting nutrition from eaten meals is not something I am able to face the rest of my life without. Having already had a taste of it, I know this for a fact. My mind is at peace with passing this way should it come to that (with a bottle of narcotics). I am hoping with every fiber of my being I do not develop more fistulas after this surgery on Thursday, but knowing my omentum (Google it) is destroyed from so many surgeries I know how likely it is I will.

I'll have to respectfully disagree with you Arlo. Having watching a family member with very serious intestinal issues go through so much, as you have, I know it's tough. But there may very well be help for you if that should happen. I would imagine there are many outlets that can help you change to a life without normal food. Right now it probably seems impossible or a desire you don't want to live without, but with the right treatment, you may very well find 12 months from now, you've forgotten all about it.

I wouldn't be so quick to throw in the towel. For someone that's spent their life fighting through illness, I'd expect you to take this as more of just another challenge to overcome so that you can see your kids, grandkids, wife, and friends another day and share more positive memories with them.


Right now it may seems like you have no choices, but if it does happen, don't be so quick to throw in the towel. You doing that would devastate 100's of lives. Do you think food is more important than those 100's of lives you'll crush? I don't think the answer to that is yes. If so, I have seriously misjudged you.

 

[Marlene]

The bottom line is the primal aspect of getting nutrition from eaten meals is not something I am able to face the rest of my life without. Having already had a taste of it, I know this for a fact. My mind is at peace with passing this way should it come to that (with a bottle of narcotics). I am hoping with every fiber of my being I do not develop more fistulas after this surgery on Thursday, but knowing my omentum (Google it) is destroyed from so many surgeries I know how likely it is I will.

I hope with everything I've got that you do not go that route! the thought of giving up on life and all the joys it has to offer is beyond my ability to understand. I wish you all the best and hope all goes well on Tuesday!

 

[bob]

I'll have to respectfully disagree with you Arlo. Having watching a family member with very serious intestinal issues go through so much, as you have, I know it's tough. But there may very well be help for you if that should happen. I would imagine there are many outlets that can help you change to a life without normal food. Right now it probably seems impossible or a desire you don't want to live without, but with the right treatment, you may very well find 12 months from now, you've forgotten all about it.

I wouldn't be so quick to throw in the towel. For someone that's spent their life fighting through illness, I'd expect you to take this as more of just another challenge to overcome so that you can see your kids, grandkids, wife, and friends another day and share more positive memories with them.


Right now it may seems like you have no choices, but if it does happen, don't be so quick to throw in the towel. You doing that would devastate 100's of lives. Do you think food is more important than those 100's of lives you'll crush? I don't think the answer to that is yes. If so, I have seriously misjudged you.

One doesn't live one's life merely to protect the sensibilities of others.

It would appear then you have never actually found yourself in any sort of forced marginal living such as friend Arlo describes. You sound very much like one of the legions of functionally mindless that proclaim with smugness if not authority just what they would do or what others should do given some acute situation that they themselves have never experienced.

Let me tell you a story...There are three things I never want to have happen to me: Being burned alive, being consumed by a carnivore while still alive, and having a colostomy.

In 1987 I had a colostomy. Perhaps the result of too many cheeseburgers. Mercifully it was temporary and was scheduled to be and was reversed six weeks later. During those six weeks I devoted much time to contemplating the notion of living the rest of my life with a bag of shit hanging off my stomach were this situation not reversed. Now I'm sure that someone with a colostomy has swum the English channel, climbed the Matterhorn. pr perhaps fought a bull. These and other somewhat heroic accomplishments mean nothing to me. Anyway, I decided that had this situation not been reversible I would give serious thought to checking out early.

This is one of those things that absolutely positively cannot understand without ever actually being there. All you can do is spout smarmy and meaningless platitudes.

 

[Arlo Kalon 2.0]

One doesn't live one's life merely to protect the sensibilities of others.

It would appear then you have never actually found yourself in any sort of forced marginal living such as friend Arlo describes. You sound very much like one of the legions of functionally mindless that proclaim with smugness if not authority just what they would do or what others should do given some acute situation that they themselves have never experienced.

Let me tell you a story...There are three things I never want to have happen to me: Being burned alive, being consumed by a carnivore while still alive, and having a colostomy.

In 1987 I had a colostomy. Perhaps the result of too many cheeseburgers. Mercifully it was temporary and was scheduled to be and was reversed six weeks later. During those six weeks I devoted much time to contemplating the notion of living the rest of my life with a bag of shit hanging off my stomach were this situation not reversed. Now I'm sure that someone with a colostomy has swum the English channel, climbed the Matterhorn. pr perhaps fought a bull. These and other somewhat heroic accomplishments mean nothing to me. Anyway, I decided that had this situation not been reversible I would give serious thought to checking out early.

This is one of those things that absolutely positively cannot understand without ever actually being there. All you can do is spout smarmy and meaningless platitudes.

Thanks bob, I knew I could count on you my friend. A life without food is as marginalized as you can get IMO. With every surgery on my guts I've had I've feared waking up with a colostomy. What I have now is as similar as it can get - a bag of intestinal bile hanging off my belly - for over a year now. The hydrochloric acid in the bile keeps a crater the size of a quarter eaten into my skin and it feels like a blowtorch 24/7 with no way I've found to get relief. I put topical medication on it and bile promptly washes it away. I consider myself to be as tough as a man can be to have endured this for this long. Lesser men would long ago run crying to momma.

I can't believe I'm on a public forum admitting to friends my plans to check out as peacefully as I can imagine. I assure you I am perfectly sane - the decision hangs on an outcome entirely out of my control.

 

[mark in tx]

Arlo,
I don't have the same pain as you, but I understand what the pain you have is driving you to.
I hope you have not made a final decision, maybe you need to know that you are not alone.
Roger Ebert, lost his lower jaw, eats through a tube. He has not given up.
Look up his blog, he writes about everything he has gone through, maybe you can find some solace or inspiration.

Arlo, I go to the local VA hospital for some issues I have. I see kids there, 18, 19 years old. Missing arms, legs, pissing and shitting in bags. Head injuries that have turned them into wrecks, abdominal wounds that are unfathomable.

Those kids keep going, everyday.
You know why?
They love life.

Please, take some time, talk to a professional, whatever it takes, find a reason to love life again.

I really hope the best for you.

 

[CES020]

Screw you Bob.

I haven't ever been to Arlo's level of sickness, but if you read what I wrote, I said I watched a family member go through some very rough things. He said the same things. He said he'd never have this or that and he didn't want to live that way. In the end, he ended up doing all of the things he said he'd never want to do or live with, including dialysis. He swore he'd never do that. But his kidney's shut down, so he had to make a choice, and he did, thankfully, to live. I know I enjoyed the remainder of my time with him, and I know he loved every minute after that where he saw his wifes face and got to hear his grandkids laugh and see their smile.

I've not had that happen to me, and I hope it never does and I hope Arlo doesn't have to make that decision, and I'm only trying to say to him that what you think can't be overcome today, may seem a small task once you're through it.

I watched my family member in the hospital for years and years. Many times for 3-4 months at a time, so while I don't know the feeling to be on one end of it, I certainly know the feeling of being on the other end of it, and from that end of things, I hope if it comes to it, he decides to hang on and be with all of us.

Let's hope the surgery goes well and this is a non-issue.

 

[Colin]

"Thou almost persuadest me"... (haha, tell me the circumstances of that quote for extra points).

Acts 26:18-26 (point!)

Well put sentiments my friend. None of them , however, address the quality of life in an eating culture where you are forever forbidden from partaking. I had seven months without so much as a morsel cross my lips and it drove me to the brink of insanity. I wasn't worth living with, and my wife and daughter were relegated to hiding in a back living area to take their meals out of consideration for me. I could still smell the preparations and wanted to break everything in sight.

Actually I can relate a tiny bit. When I was in my teens (about 150 years ago) I kept getting these occasional terrible pains in my gut that would come out of nowhere and be fairly intense. One time it was so bad that I was taken to hospital and they kept me in for a week and was put on a liquid diet. Towards the end of the week I was craving solid food like crazy. I was feeling better, so whilst a friend was visiting, we jumped out the window (ground level) and he drove me up to the corner store and I bought a muffin and some other safe stuff and chewed like a gerbil. We returned through the same window with nobody knowing any different. Ah youth.

The bottom line is the primal aspect of getting nutrition from eaten meals is not something I am able to face the rest of my life without. Having already had a taste of it, I know this for a fact.

But CES020 brings up a good point about professional help possibly making it bearable.

You will certainly be in our thoughts on Thursday.

All the best.

 

[John Butto]

Respect

That is what I have for Arlo. As he says he has children and so he will always dwell in them. Do hope he makes it through this and has a better quality of life but he has prepared for something that we will all come to one day. So I respect someone who faces fear and even though I have never met the man it gives me pride that I do have a way of thanking him, for helping me face that time when it is my turn to make these kinds of decisions.

 

[Just Another Sign Guy]

Arlo, you and i have talked about long term chronic pain..and i wouldn't and don't wish it on anyone, based on our past conversations and how much motivation, support and wisdom you offered to me (at a time that i needed those words more than you will ever know) i simply can not imagine what you are going through and how tough this must be for you based on the words i am reading from you now, if i can do anything for you please pick up the phone..

i know you and i have also talked about loved one's committing suicide in private and you mentioned it above or i wouldnt have mentioned it in this venue...your statement regarding "you know you get over it"... personally, i never have i still have many unanswered questions and will my entire life. questions that i didnt know to ask, questions that probably don't have answers but i do know that a day doesn't go by that i don't think that today my mom would now be a grandmother and how much i wish my daughter had her in her life. and that's just one simple easy example of how much life has changed from the boy i was to the man i am today..and i still miss her, need her and wish she was in my life.

 

[iSign]

... seriously misjudged

. Bob is right about the smarmy spouting... You post & your sentiments could have made you words of wisdom be heard, if you knew when to stop.. Please don't hijack this further by replying publically if you must reply at all.. Just think twice about the concept if " judgement" and fit it in the weight of the world on this man today, and send him off with the best encouragement you can muster... But for gods sake don't lay judgement at his feet today...

Arlo, I am praying for you, your gut, your future, and the future of medical advancements that will increase the possibilities tomorrow, over that which is possible today... Everyday you will have loved ones hoping to see you "tomorrow" so I pray (& wish) for many tomorrow's of increased strength hope and healing... Especially this week!!! You are admired for you strength already... Peace bro!

 

[CES020]

Forgive me for trying to talk someone out of committing suicide instead of standing in line saying "I agree, you've got to do what you've got to do".

I have said repeatedly I hope it never comes to that level and I hope the surgery goes well and Arlo recovers fantastically and he can eat anything he wants. I wish him nothing but the best and I know he's sick and tired of being sick and tired and I can't imagine the burden that's on him. I hope I never have to deal with it any more than I already have, from the other side of the aisle.

 

[Dave Drane]

Hi Dave, I just arrived back at LA and thought I would send you a PM, thanking you for the fabulous time Liddy and I had with you and your family, as we are flying back to Australia tomorrow. This is quite a shock for me to read this and all I can say is that we both give you all our best possible wishes for the best outcome, but I know that Melissa and Kaitlyn will be there for you and that will make things much easier. Keep your head up bro!!

 

[mikey-Oh]

Imagine it's happening early tomorrow Arlo. Just want you to know I'm sending a slew of prayers and lighting a candle for you(and I'm not an overly religiously dude.) Positive vibes, prayers and juju coming down from just a couple hours north of you.
I would love to spend some time with you and a couple brushes...
Here's to the best Dave!

 

[SignosaurusRex]

My most positive thoughts and prayers will be with you throughout the day tomorrow Arlo!

 

[vid]

Best thoughts are with you! ...for tomorrow and to a fast and full recovery.