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How's The Weather?

Dave Drane

New Member
Diary of a new home owner and snow shoveler, North East

December 8 - 6:00 PM
It started to snow.
The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and
sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down
from heaven.
It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
I love snow!

December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every
inch of the landscape.
What a fantastic sight!
Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world?
Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.
I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and

closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.
What a perfect life!

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
Such a disappointment!
My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white
Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful!
Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never
want to see snow again
I don't think that's possible.
Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night.
The temperature dropped to -20.
The cold makes everything sparkle so.
The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the
driveway and sidewalks.
This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.
I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but
I'll certainly get back in shape this way.
I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15
20 inches forecast.
Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
Stocked the freezer.
The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
I think that's silly.
We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16
Ice storm this morning.
Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt.
Hurt like hell.
The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17
Still way below freezing.
Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours.
I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.
Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her.
God I hate it when she's right.
I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20
Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff
last night.
More shoveling!
Took all day.
The damn snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy
playing hockey.
I think they're lying.
Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow
blower and they're out.
Might have another shipment in March.
I think they're lying.
Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.
I think he's lying.

December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the
white shit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August.
Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then
I had to piss.
By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired
to shovel.
Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the
winter, but he says he's too busy.

I think the asshole is lying.

December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today
And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she, nuts?!!
Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?
She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack.
If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll
drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my
broken shovel.
I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open
our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25
Merry freaking Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight
-Snowed in.
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.
God, I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him
over the head with my shovel.
The wife says I have a bad attitude.
I think she's an idiot.
If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going
to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26
Still snowed in.
Why the hell did I ever move here?
It was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14
hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my
pipes.

December 28
Warmed up to above -20.
Still snowed in.
The harpie is driving me crazy!!!

December 29
10 more inches.
Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
That's the silliest thing I ever heard.

How dumb does he think I am?

December 30
Roof caved in.
I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million
dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to
shove the broken snow shovel up his ass.
The wife went home to her mother.
Nine more inches predicted.

December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house.
No more shoveling.

January 8
Feel so good.
I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
Why am I tied to the bed?
 

Samm

New Member
Heh heh heh Dave!

Mildly warm here, clear blue skies, looking to warm up nicely to be at the beach for Xmas day :)
 

Baz

New Member
Jeeez ... Talk about nerve ... Leave it to a guy from Hawaii to ask "how's the weather" ... Doug ... Its a beautifull winter wonderland up here :rolleyes: ... Already the snowbanks in front of my house are up to 5 feet ... and winter hasnt officially started yet!

Dave's post pretty much sums up my feelings about it.:beer:beer:beer
 

cdiesel

New Member
I've had ice on my windshield in the mornings for the past week.. the kids thought that was really weird. I think the highs have been in the mid 60's. Gotta love Phoenix!
 

Ken

New Member
"oh, the weather outside is frightful..here, it's so delightful...
There's really no place to go..Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow.."
Cheers!
Ken
 

rcboats1

New Member


I found this beautiful winter poem and as it would appear that winter has arrived with a vengeance, I thought you might enjoy it's inspirational seasonal message at the end. I know it moved me and seemed to capture the essence of winter so perfectly! Enjoy

"WINTER"
A poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyr

HttpNimletDriver



SHIT! It's cold



THE END

 

Dave Drane

New Member
Actually where I am at the moment it is 80° with 90% humidity and I would just love to have some of you northern hemispherers ice. Send it down!!! LOL
 

Samm

New Member
Actually where I am at the moment it is 80° with 90% humidity and I would just love to have some of you northern hemispherers ice. Send it down!!! LOL

Would you convert to english please Dave!!??

Ohhhh ok, roughly the same here, 77F, but without the humidity...mind you it is meant to be raining?!! Wouldn't say no to some of that ice either!
 
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